Depressed

Yes, that is how I am feeling right now. I did say that I shall not bother with things of love and lust but there is this person that I have loved for so long that...I feel depressed coz I don't think I will ever see a future with this person.

There is a lot of negativity in me. There are lots of negative thoughts: That I am not worthy, that I do not have inner beauty, etc, etc. I need to cast all these away as the more depressed I get, the harder it is for me to get better. My cough and sinuses, I mean.

I can look at it in both ways: Either that I had a bad start to the new year or that I am having a bad end to my lunar year and that only better things will come soon after. I really hope it is the latter. Sigh... .