Sometimes I think I am bitchy

Even though I keep telling myself that I am not, I think I too, can be bitchy, without myself knowing it. Then again, I think that bitchiness is something that people label you with.

You see, this morning I was supposed to meet a friend to go for the H&M opening here in the little red dot. I remember telling her last night that whoever wakes up first should call the other person so that we can all get ready and go and if we cannot make it on time, we then do not need to rush.

My work requires lots of physical activity and the fatigue spills over to my off days. I do not presume and purposely want my friend to know this. But the least I hope my friend could do is to stick to what was agreed upon. I woke up at 9am. We were scheduled to meet 9.30am. She did not call me and so I called her instead. She did not pick up her phone and I presumed that she was sleeping.

Turned out that she was bathing and could not pick up the call and called me at only about 9.15am or 9.20am there about. As I left a comment on my Facebook account, telling my other friend that if I did not manage to get in, that I will go for plan B, which was to go to Kinokuniya @ Bugis Junction, my friend (whom I was supposed to meet) lashed out and commented something like, "Guess who was the one who woke up late?".

After explaining to her that because I did not hear from her after I called her, I had presumed she was still asleep and went back to bed. I was dead tired. Nevertheless, I had already bathed and brushed my teeth. All that was left for me to do was to change and go.

She then replied to my comment implying that it was my fault and that I should not be blaming her (her exact words: "huh? is that my fault?"). I do not know whether it was PMS or whether it was too early in the morning but that comment hurt coz it was like my fault, then? In fact, at that point of time, I did not even remember what we agreed upon but was already starting to blame myself for all the unfortunate turn of events.

To tell you the truth though, even though I was so-called late, I still arrived at Somerset station before my friend. Says a lot doesn't it? I just felt like it was the pot calling the kettle black.

The queue was long and again, there was this air of impatience surrounding my friend. We collected the catalogue, took a bottle of oxygenated water and went off for breakfast. We rejoined the queue once breakfast was done. I felt the urgent need to go to the ladies and so I went. When I came back, my friend told me that her appointment in the evening had moved till mid-afternoon. I suggested we queue till a certain time before giving up and going over to Kinokuniya. She refused and said she would be on her way.

I queued alone but felt more at ease for at least, I don't feel such awkward silences and all those body language that I really did not need on my off day. I was halfway through the queue when she called me and asked where I was. I was pretty near the entrance already by then. She said she would rush back and join me in the queue and it was after hanging up that I saw her message for me to SMS her when I am inside.

That was what I did! I messaged her once I got in and she just reached the Somerset MRT (or outside, I do not know) but she was cursing and swearing over SMS that she had made a wasted trip. Just wondering though, how can it be totally wasted when you ARE headed towards the Yishun direction anyway? The only waste is the extra energy and time needed to walk over to H&M.

I suppose I was bitchy in not messaging her before I got in, but you know, there were lots of security. I do not know if they would have allowed her to just come in like that. Perhaps I was a coward and did not want to be embarrassed or perhaps, I just had enough from her for the day.

I can take a lot of things and not say anything coz I know no matter what I say, there would be some form of cleverer 'retaliation'. I sometimes even think that I bend backwards (or is it forwards?) too much for people but even this, I think I should say with caution, for fear that some other friends might lash out at me and say that THEY are the ones bending backwards for me.

This is not the first time this friend has lashed out at me. She is usually the one who is late and she used to be very late, even during our schooling days. When she is late, we cannot say much. But if WE were the ones that were late, gosh! We would get hell. Why are we still friends? I guess friends are hard to come by and being friends, to me, means to try to accept the good and bad sides of theirs.

I would not be surprised if I was yet again labelled bitchy for writing this post, but I just need to spill it out somewhere so that I can feel better inside.