As I lay, half inclined on my bed, reading Cleo magazine, I started having a panic attack of sorts; somewhat like a mid-life crisis.
You see, the Cleo Bachelor contest is going on and I was looking through all the contestants. Most of them are 22,23 or 25,26 year-olds. I am way past that. Does that make an old hag? I read their little individual interviews and most want sporty girls. If you count trekking, cycling and swimming sporty, then I still fit the bill. Worse still, one said he would not prefer his girl to be too short.
Well, all these may well be highly personalised and overly publicised opinions of a bunch of 50 guys, but it did not help me allay my fears and worries that all too soon, I will reach the big four-o. Well, not quite there yet, but the feeling of it reaching faster is very real.
It did not help that I have been worrying recently about being all alone when I get old and the thought of who I should ask to settle my funeral when I die came about. You see, I am an only child and the thought of both my parents going before me, is another supposition that I do not take too lightly.
It also does not help that today is Valentine's Day (V Day) and my mahjong session was cancelled because my cousin has a bad flu (I don't blame her, really. The flu bug has been going around, having a field day!). I would now have to think of things to occupy myself and try not to go out as it would cost me a lot in monetary terms plus emotionally, I am not going to feel any better just looking at those couples giving you the smirk looks on their faces.
Don't get me wrong, they have full right to do so. After all, they have found their ONE. I just wish that V Day was never really invented or that it never got so commercialised such that it ostracised and marginalised the singles or those in gray areas (like myself).
Well, enough of wallowing and all that worries and fuss. Life has to go on. At least I had a nice claypot rice meal with Dad the night before and that quality family time is good enough a V Day present as any other.
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It is sad that society idealises certain qualities in males and females. In Singapore one is always trying to meet expectations - it's stressful. I guess that's why many choose to leave - there are many countries that are more forgiving. If I could, I wouldn't mind migrating too.
ReplyDeleteI think you are really special and have your own special qualities like your patience with the kids - I don't think I could ever do that - so don't shortchange yourself ya.
Thanks very much! Hope you had a nice V day with James :) My V day was not so bad as you are about to read in my next posting.
ReplyDeleteAs for migration, yes, that is definitely in my plans but all the wild life in the country I love suffer like that and knowing that some of the forest fires were set ablaze by arsonists (Australia) makes me wonder whether I should eventually go there or not.
Hee! Shall leave that for another post :P
Oh after reading your next post - I decided your V day is better than mine. James came over to my place in the afternoon and decided he wanted to wash his car so he was gone for 2 hours and by the time he came back. It was almost dinner time.
ReplyDeleteHe did not make any plans so he said lets go to the airport and have dinner either at the Crown Hotel or Crystal Jade.... Every restaurant was either fully booked or had a snaking queue. We ended up with fast food and we had to wait around like hawks for a table too - and the queue to buy food at the counter was a good 10-15 min.
No card, no flowers... nothing. Actually getting nothing doesn't bother me. I was just annoyed that he didn't put more thought into it. BAH.
Well, don't get too upset, for after a while, it is the everyday that matters. Think long term and you would not got so upset :)
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