On my own

Last night, I did something I have never done before. I was being brave, I think. I went to meet the friends I had just met on Wednesday at the pub and there were lots of firsts.

First, of course, I went to the pub on my own. Then I almost wanted to go off already, except that I bumped into the girl whom had asked me go to the pub in the first place and she told me where to find the guys. I tried to find the guys but in vain.

I was a nerve wreck and had to go to the toilet to learn to breathe again and to decide whether to continue my search or go home. I could not take it any longer after I came out of the toilet as it had seemed like I have gone round the place 100 times. I decided to go outside the pub to start sms-ing someone. Anyone. Spacecake was one of them people I sms-ed.

She was a friend indeed. She called me almost immediately and after telling her what went on and how I was at a lost, I decide to head towards the MRT. If there were still trains, I would go home. I wanted to give it all up, even after taking a cab down and making all that effort to doll up.

Then I got the guy's sms. He was looking for me and I told him this lie that I was actually at the pub but bumped into my friend and had walked her to the mrt station. Told him I would walk back to meet him. He informed me that he was leaving even as I neared the pub again. Sigh.

Anyhow, the person that I saw who was supposed to be introduced to me, was angry at that time and did not give me a good first impression at all. He was rude too. And young. Too young for me. He wanted to go to New Asia Bar to meet his friend and so we proceeded there. I suspect I botched up his plans to meet his friend earlier, which was perhaps why he was pissed.

After we reached NAB (New Asia Bar), I was left on my own to 'reserve' seats; something that I have never had to do. What was worse is that I did not have a drink in hand. In the end I had to whip out my trusty hand phone to start sms-ing again. It got to a point so bad that I had to delete messages that I did not need.

I was finally rejoined by my 'friends' and they asked me to go to another table where they already had champagne waiting. My 'friends' were all over the place after that and even as they danced, they were all over the place. In the end, I danced alone. Something that I have not done for a long, long time.

I have always gone clubbing with a group of my friends and we usually met somewhere first before going to the club together and we usually only had standing space only and did not have to be sitting all alone without a drink.

All in all, I would rate the night 3 out of 10 but 11 out of 10 for my own courage. I do not know if I will ever do that again, but at least I dare say that I have tried it once, in my life time.

Networking again

It was Wednesday. I was supposed to have class, but my lecturer was sick. We were given a set of instructions to finish up our draft of our play kit and send it to her. That was easy. We have already done most of it and was well on our way to completing the group assignment.

We could leave once the discussion was done and the draft sent to her (our lecturer). I was invited to go to KPO. I have long lost touch with clubbing and pubbing scene but welcomed the fact that I had a chance to go.

It's been a long time since I drank and it's been a long time since I went out to meet new friends. Last night though, was rather an enjoyable time, with no expectations and not much pressure. I must admit, I was nervous though. I did not know where to put my arms and hands. I had wanted to cross my arms but that would seem too defensive. I wanted to put my hands into my pocket but I remembered reading somewhere that it was not right to do so either. Boy! Was I feeling hot when I first got there!

Anyway, KPO represents Killiney Post Office. Nice place to hang out and chill and I like there music too. Met an American, a Cambodian, a French and some locals. I don't know about the rest but I had an enjoyable time and I am praying hard that I do not get a hangover tomorrow.

What's most important is that I am starting to make new friends again. I'm a little bit apprehensive but also looking forward to brushing up my networking skills.

Oh yes@ I got to practise my very rusty French too! Wish me luck!

Dancing queen

Hmm...I know I am working backwards, but I just have to blog a little about my Saturday evening.

I really had fun!! Went to Attica in the end (after much contemplation about which club to go). Turns out that all of us lurve house music and we danced till we could not dance anymore.

Was just a little fed up with some people who were not very gracious on the dance floor. I ended up 'boxing' this guy up again. He and partner were edging and edging towards me until I had hardly any space to move. At first, I got so pissed that I stood still. Just crossed my arms and stood there. When he continued to do all that edging, and when I could not take it anymore, I danced with such 'vengeance', with arms flying everywhere. Hehe...I am polite and gracious on the dance floor, but do not get on my nerves. If you get on my nerves, I will make sure you get it from me big time.

Anyhow, we went for supper at Maxwell. Mmmm....my beloved bee hoon goreng (fried bee hoon, Indian Muslim style). Also discovered a drink stall which served very nice bandung drink (rose syrup with evaporated milk). They only put in the milk when they serve, not readily-mixed. This way, you can actually taste the 'fragrance' of the milk.

We chatted and talked, mainly about ghosts and haunted places and we only left at 5am in the morning. I was really tired, but really happy.

Friday blues?

It's a Friday. I am supposed to be out on a Friday. One friend has Salsa, the other's watching marathon horror movies. Yet another has got dinner plans for part A of the evening and then movie plans for part B of the evening. What plan do I have? Nothing. Part A+B friend even suggested Part C whereby we can meet for karaoke at 11.30pm. Think better not though, coz I have a full day of mahjong tomorrow.

The only possible plan now is to have dinner with mum. Then go see and feed cats. I know this sounds bad but I rarely meet up with mum or dad on Fridays. I reserve Saturdays or Sundays for them, but Friday is supposed to be my Part-y day.

Oh well, it is partly my fault, did not plan ahead. I think this Friday party day started during uni days. My course was such that Fridays were practically free if I managed to grab tutorials on the right days. Even if it were not totally free, I would probably only go for half a day of tutorials.

My routine would be to have dinner at with a group of friends, return home to 'doll' up. Hit the karaoke joint and then proceed to a club after 2am when the Karaoke joint closes. I would even tell the karaoke joint owner that I will see him at the club later. After he closes shop, he and his staff will go there too! I would dance till 6am when the lights at the club will be turned on and we are in time to see the sunrise.

By then, we will be dead hungry and would probably go to MacDonald's to buy some breakfast before going up to King's Park to watch the sun rise (or what's left of it :P) Sometimes, if we were super crazy, we would head down to Canningvale market (which is only open on weekend mornings) to get our week's worth of vegetables.

Of course, those were exceptional occasions. Usually we would just buy breakfast, head home, eat and knock out for a good half of the day. A bit like vampires. Sounds crazy I know, but where I was studying, was a little too...calm. We needed some form of activity to keep ourselves sane from all that studying.

So much better

OK, one night out with friends and one day of mahjong later, I am feeling much better. Gosh! Why do I need to do such things to remind myself that I am OK? Sigh... anyway, went clubbing with a few friends at St James and felt immediately better. Nothing better than a night out with friends.

We first had dinner at Annatolia (Far East Plaza) so nice to eat there after such a long time. Went for some shopping and finally decided to head down to St James.

Mahjong was good too coz I managed to win some this time around. The big winner is still my Dad of course. Well, at least I made some improvement.

Depressing. Maybe, maybe not

I am in a real wreck at the moment. My housemate just sms-ed me to say that she's is not just going to Finland to visit her boyfriend but also to get married.

That would mean that I will be the only un-married one amongst my so-called close girl friends. Seriously, feel like shit. Although I should be and am happy for her and my Finnish friend. Although she had talked about marriage with him before. Although I know that she would eventually get married, but I think...I am still too shocked for words when the bomb was dropped.

Silly thoughts like how I was such a failure in my marriage and how I could not upkeep my marriage and how I am still single came to mind. Plain silly.

It has not been such a good day for me today. I finally received that sort of finalised letter from HR telling me very nicely that I had about 21 days of leave to clear, that I am not entitled to benefits etc, etc. It is funny coz I know that I will be coming back as a part-timer, but somehow, I know that it is going to be different. Then there is this nagging fear that I may not be able to come back. That is depressing feeling number 1.

Then I developed a migraine in the late afternoon and I could not get my stuff done properly. I think the air con was too cold, what with the heavy rain this morning. Froze half my head away. Depressing plus throbbing migraine problem number 2.

Then I received this letter from the Union that I am actually eligible for another type of membership. Duh! I wished that I had filled out that I am jobless instead. Then I could have gotten my union card immediately. Now I have to go and bloody explain to that AUSBE person about my very special situation. Then maybe I would not be eligible and then maybe NTUC Union can give me a card. Depressing feeling number 3.

Shocking news number 4 is of course, my housemate's wedding. Kelly (remember Kelly?), she was real nice and empathised with me. A little. Then, trying to be encouraging, she told me (via sms) that what's most important is not to feel sorry for ourselves.

Well, what can I say???? I am still in shock. Nothing to say.

Oh, forgot depressing news number 5. Was supposed to go trekking with my Hong Kong friend and his friend, he now says that he cannot make it. I have not trekked for two weeks. My own fault really. I was working one of the weekends and then the next, of course, I went for karaoke. I made the choice.

I refuse to stay home and mope. I managed to make plans for tomorrow night already. Saturday is mahjong day at my aunt's and cousin's place. Family day, sort of. I will think of something to do on Sunday. Even if tomorrow night is a no-go, I will go out and have fun myself. I will need to go out there make friends, clear my mind and think straight and be normal, because I choose to be so. I must also not forget my other friends who have been good friends through and through (I am not saying my housemate/ friend is not. Just that when one gets married, they would have other priorities and we as friends, should let them set their priorities straight. We need to be tactful too).

Anyway, I think I am wee bit better now that I have vented it out. Like Scarlet O'Hara said on the very last page (page 1010) of Gone with the wind, "Tomorrow will be another day".

Like a drug

Was back at my parents' last night and I suddenly wanted to listen to DJ Tiesto's latest album real bad (well not really. His latest is the live concert recorded in Copenhagen as heard at HMV the other day).

Anyway, here's my favourite from Tiesto:


It was real funny coz I was like a drug addict trying to sniff out the drug. Searched the whole of my CD collection and then went down to the car CD stacker to search only to come to the conclusion that it must be back at my little rented place :(

Had to settle for Paul Van Dyk instead. A little more commercial but still bearable. Blasted the mini hi-fi till about ten past. It has been a long time since I did something like that.

It's a sign! A sign that I need to boogy. Soon! This Friday. Housemate has ditto-ed this and so...(in whisper) I think we are going to paint the town red. Sort of anyway. We have all been so caught up with our own work that we need to let our hair down.