The lengths we go through

One of my friend will be holding her wedding reception this coming weekend. One of my ex-colleagues ever said that "it shows how important the friend is to the person by seeing what lengths they go through to prepare for it."

Not that I do not see other weddings as important. I think all of them are and I put equally the same amount of effort in preparation for them. This time though, there would be no make-up artist/ hairstylist but still lots have gone into preparing in any case.

I have gone for a proper hair cut and colour Vs my $10 haircut cum home colouring. I am also sussing out a place to do my nails. Going to do french manicure for the first time in my life. I have sort of grown my nails for it. no actually it is because now that I have quit my previous job, I no longer need to be mindful of having short nails all the time. For now, that is.

I thought I had everything ready: the dress, the shoes, the hair, the nails. I have even been practising and trying out different make-up like the colour of eye-shadows, etc. No problem, right? Wrong.

The dress that looked so befitting and elegant for the occasion was unfit for wearing. I grew more meat on my back and could not zip up for the life of me. Mum told me to go get a nice dress for myself. There are very affordable and yet pretty ones on the market nowadays. Woah! My Mum, my fashion consultant. Ha!

Therefore I happily went out to buy myself one thinking it was the most perfect dress for the occasion. I was sooooo wrong. When Mum saw it, she practically yelled her head off and told me that I had bad taste. She did not stop until I went inside my room. Dad was kinder. He said it looked like uniform and stopped at that. Both were not impressed with my buy. Mum even questioned on why I always bought the same colour and yet looked like nurses' uniforms.

Well, part of the reason is because it IS from the same shop! As for the colour, I guess I just like the teal colour which kinda reminds me of the peacocks. Plus this one's texture was satin, a material I thought very appropriate for the occasion.

I was so upset with Mum that I lost sleep over it. Terrible as I do not want dark eye circles on that day. I am known to be stubborn and adamant about my decisions but I guess, I have always wanted to win the approval of my Mum, which is why I was so upset.

In the end, I decided on several things: Ask Mum to accompany me to buy the dress; exchange the dress for another one that I did try the day before; keep the dress and buy another one.

In the end, Mum met me at Bugis and several shops later, we managed to get one. What can I say? Mum knows best? Well, I guess it is also the secret thrill of having her spend some Mother-daughter time with me. As for the teal coloured dress? It is still sitting at home. I have seven, no six days to decide whether I want to exchange or not.

I really love weddings, special occasions and such. I love dressing up for such occasions even more! Hopefully I will look presentable this weekend!

p/s: The first dress I bought had a French name that has a literal meaning of "life in shades of pink". I happen to like most of the stuff that they sell there. Although having a French name, the clothing are all from Japan.

Lives and deaths

Oh yes, in the midst of finding jobs and cleaning up, something else happened. My very close friend's father passed away. How close were we? We knew each other since kindergarten. That is how close we are.

Despite that though, I seldom got to see her Dad. I only got to see him recently when he gave me a lift home. Gosh! Little did I realise that it would be the last time I would see him alive.

Even though I have only recently gotten back into contact with this friend of mine, but I feel really close to her and her family. Maybe it is because we all speak Cantonese. I went everyday to the wake and accompanied them even, for the "very last journey".

Once again, it hit home that one day, my Dad's turn will come. He was the same age as my friend's Dad and the similarities of their age, just made me that much more sober about the times that I spend with my Dad (and my Mum, of course).

It's like I want to live each day more purposefully and also to be more conscious about interacting with my parents coz when they are six feet under, it would then be too late. Then again, no matter how much we have done, we will always have regrets and I think I also need to prepare myself for that. Sounds serious and more grievous, but it has once again made me realise the fragility and importance of life.

My poor woollen argyle sweater

I find myself quick to anger nowadays. Today, it was over this woollen sweater that I had bought from Uniqlo. It is fine Merino wool and I had told my mum that it is to be hand-washed and I just put it on the back rest of my chair, in my room.

It was my fault. I should have just added, "Please do not wash it. I will do it myself".

It was too late. When I came home, I saw the nice off white with pink and grey argyle patterned sweater on a hanger, drying on a 'bamboo' pole. My heart froze. For one should never hang woollen stuff like that. The water is just going to weigh everything down and the clothing will go out of shape.

I tried to salvage it but I think it was too late. The collar looks warped and the whole thing looks out of shape, elongated. I tried to control my anger and wrote a nice note to Mum telling her what I have done (put the sweater on top of clean plastic sheets, on the floor. They do not say "lay flat" or "dry flat" for nothing. I told her that I was not angry and that I hope we would come to a better understanding next time.

It was no use though for after she came back and I explained to her, I had a closer look (for I really did not bear to really look at it) and it just looked..warped and out of shape (sort of). The best part was Mum tried to lighten the whole situation and say, "Aiyah, how much can one sweater cost?"

I suppose when one earns less, one will treasure things a lot more. It felt very painful to me as I had not even started wearing the piece of clothing. She continued to say what's the big deal and that I could always buy it next month.

Helloo!!!! Knock-knock! I bought this for my Amsterdam trip and I am flying off at the end of this month. HOW TO BUY?????? So angry with her flipping remarks. The more she talked about the monetary bit, the angrier I got. The anger was not really there at first. It is after all $49.90. It is probably about 10 meals for a person and enough to feed a whole family.

Well, maybe I am anal too but a warped piece just would not look the same. It just makes me look frumpy and sloppy. Besides, I am not the slimmest or tallest of people. The increase in length and width would simply not flatter my figure (or what is left of it).

It did not help that Dad thought that I was the one to blame. He asked me why did I put it in the laundry basket in the first place, which I did not. Had to explain it all over again to him that it was very clearly put in my room.

After several painful screams in my own room, Mum finally came in to 'apologise'. This could take awhile but writing this is helping me get rid of the anger. Feeling better already and would just have to bear with it and wear it, I suppose. I am trying very hard not to get angry.

Very Korean

Crying is no good for the eyes. They felt like goldfish's eyeballs today, but I managed the day though. Had a refreshing albeit sunburn-ish kind of walk to Singpost Centre during lunch break. It is amazing what walking can do for the mind, except that I wished that it wasn't so hot.

Had Korean food for lunch today. It was BBQ pork set. Then coincidentally in the evening, Mum bought me Korean grilled saba fish set. Because I was rushing to see the Chinese doc, who is ever so busy and popular, Mum had bought me take-away (how sweet!). The very coincidental part was that she took out the set of environmental-friendly chopsticks and spoon set that I bought from Lotte World in Korea. Suddenly, I felt very Korean and I was half giggling to myself as I ate dinner at the Pek Kio Hawker Centre, which was sparsely populated with the dinner crowd thinning out already.

The wait at the Chinese doc's was not so bad and Mum and I went home on one of those rare occasions that she would accompany me out. Bliss! Kept giving her secret smiles and she pretended to glare back at me. Hee!

Pox!

I cannot believe it! I caught the chicken pox!!!! There were 5 rounds of it at my work place and I thought I would be safe from it but in the end, I still got it!!! It started on Monday afternoon. There were all that flu-like symptoms of backache and post-nasal drip and so I thought I was coming down with flu.

I went home, ate my dinner and was bathing when I felt the shivers. My feet were very cold and I wished that I could stay in the shower forever. I was too cold. I stayed as long as I could in the shower as I could and braced myself for when I needed to get myself out and put on clothes. It was the coldest few seconds in my entire life.

Huddling myself in my towel, I grabbed a pair of socks, opened the window threw the towel back onto the rack and went straight to bed without even turning on the air-conditioning. Oh, of course, I ate Zyrtec before going to bed.

Next morning, I almost could not get out of the bed and out of the house. Took a cab to work. Too painful to walk. Mum had asked me why I did not want to go and see the doc and take M.C. Told her I could not as I was doing the closing shift. Don't want to mess up everybody's schedule.

Come afternoon, my temperature was 37.5 degrees. Asked my colleague for panadol and popped 2. At the same time, my other colleague spotted spots on my face and immediately asked if they were chicken pox. There was one obvious pimply spot on my lip and a few others on the sides of my face. That was on my right side.

By four plus, two more spots had appeared on my left chin. Eeeekssss!!! I had wanted to wait till the next day to go and see a doctor, but mum told me to just go as it made no difference. It did make a difference though for I though the spots were not typical enough to be called chicken pox.

We went to the doc's anyway. I was treated as a pox patient and have to stay at home for the next 5 days. I was given some anti-viral medicine as he was afraid that there might be completion when I get it so 'young'. There could be meningitis or even pneumonia. It was not cheap though but it was necessary.

When I went home and took my bath, found one more spot on my right boob. Hahahaha!!! This morning, lots have sprouted on my scalp and I have accidentally scratched on in my half sleep-stupor.

Anyway, I am keeping my fingers crossed that I will not get too many spots and that there will not be any scars. Sigh...there goes my cousin's wedding reception this Sunday.

Funny

Such an interesting thing happened: My Dad wants to plan a trip to Hokkaido (free and easy) and was trying to find travel companions. He had waited very long for his friends to come along but none were very interested.

Now, one of his former radio listeners who could speak Japanese would like to go but I rejected it flat out. Why? Because the listener is a "she". Hehehe...you would think that it would be the parents who would be the 'goal keeper' at such things but my immediate reaction was, "No way! Tell her that your daughter does not allow it."

I should trust the old foggies on this but somehow, I am really protective of my mum. Strange thing though was that my mum was OK with it. I guess she is more trusting of my Dad than me!

Anyway, my Dad is trying to get my aunts to go along so that they can share the room with the lady listener. We will see how it goes.

Virtual cooking Vs Real cooking

Today, I cooked my own dinner again, using Linguine. I just change the ingredients around. It is quite a versatile dish to work with.

This time around, I still tossed with Balsamic vinegar and olive oil but I put cut up cherry tomatoes, shredded chicken, thyme and parmesan.

I even put the chicken breast meat to good use. There was a whole lot of shredded chicken breast left and I intend to use it to make salad for sandwiches and stuff.

The funniest bit was that I was both cooking in the kitchen and 'cooking' in Cafe World. Halfway through stirring my pasta, the alarm sounded from my laptop, indicating that my food was ready. Inexperienced me was so afraid that my food will spoil that I rushed to click and serve, with ladle in hand. Hahaha! It was a funny sight and my mum had a bewildered and puzzled look on her face as she saw me fly past her.

The symphony of frogs

When I was little, my dad, mum and I would take evening walks after dinner. I think those were the times that I treasured most in my childhood. We would stroll round the private estate (as we call it) and would eventually come to a playground where I would go on the swing, the merry-go-round and the see-saw. I think these are stuff that are fast disappearing from the playgrounds of today.

Before we reach our destination (the playground) though, there would be this steep slope and a big drain that we will definitely have to walk by. Dad used to make it really scary but still ask me to look into the deep, deep drain and he would point out frogs to me. Sometimes I see them, sometimes I only see them. Either way, I think they were horrible things and I never understood why my Dad made me see such things. Now of course I do, as it is part of Science and such. There were also sometimes lots of snails on the roads and Dad and Mum would almost always ask me to look.

As I grew up, I moved to places called flats/apartments and I had almost no chance of seeing such sights or hearing such sounds. Tonight though, I heard the symphony of the frogs. It would have grossed me out many years back but I now feel that it is music to my ears.

You see, there are many ways to get home and one of them involves me walking through vast lands of green grass between blocks of flats. It is a piece of land that they use for setting up a stage for the Chinese seventh month or what we popularly call "getai". It had rained again in the late afternoon today, as is so for many late afternoons now. Once this happens, I say "the frogs come out to sing".

I suppose it is a phenomenon and as much as I would encounter a frog face to face, I think the crooning of the frogs gives comfort to a lonely soul walking back home after work at night. It brings back memories and the good old times and sends warm fuzzy feelings tingling all over. It made me want to bring my kids over to experience this whole...phenomenon. They are sure to ask questions and be curious, like I was many years ago.

Have your heard the frogs sing? Have you heard them sing in sync? Find your own patch of froggy land and listen in. It's free and it is beautiful.

Waffling

I was sick and resting at home today until evening time when I had to get to my classes. Serves me right for not going twice before and using up my 20% chance of absenteeism.


Anyway, I think I feel better now except that I still have a 'sexy' voice. Last night, when I came home after the doc's, Dad asked me to take care of myself and not eat rubbish when I am out and about. I told him directly that I cannot help it if I have rhinitis or that my immune system is so bad.

This leads me to the question as to why I should be in this world in the first place. I think my parents made a very selfish decision to give birth to me (I know I would probably get bashed up for saying this but this is really how I feel). Selfish in that they only gave birth to me and then letting me be responsible for them when they grow old. I do not have any other siblings to share the responsibility with. Selfish in that I am alone all the time and contrary to what everyone else is thinking, an only child is not very fun to be.

Selfish because after they have only me, they continue to live life as if they were a couple and I was an outsider looking in at their lives. Well, maybe I exaggerate or I may be overly sensitive. Maybe they just want to give me my space, but they do not realise that my social life is almost zero? Or that I am very bad with making new friends? This leads me to what I am about to say next.

Recently, I have been reading a book about the autistic spectrum disorder and was wondering if I was mildly autistic myself. I was giving myself lots of 'analysis' and excuses as I was a really quiet child at birth and my social skills are not fantastic. I seem to have a slower learning process than others.

I have also been reading up quite a bit about the Indigo Child. Well, maybe all these are terms to coin people who are different from the norm and it made some sense to me as my mum was considered mature when she gave birth to me. Hmm...yes, I like this explanation. Makes me feel a little better about myself. Hahaha!

I am waffling, I know. I am normal. Or at least, I think I am. Whatever it is, I am responsible for my own life now and will stop looking at the past or blaming it. Sounds familiar? Well, it Stephen Covey said something to that extent and we just learned about it in class.

Reunion dinners

Finished our reunion dinner at about 8pm. The thing about eating out for reunion dinners is that there are many rounds and if you happen to be in the first round, you have to hurry up and eat.

Last night, we had our reunion dinner with my grandparents at Lingzhi as usual. Gramps does not like change much and we love the vegetarian food there and so here we were again. Food was good but by about 3am, I was hungry already.

Tonight, we had the dinner with my two aunts at Soup Restaurant. Food was fantastic but the service superficial. Plus we were the first round and there were two more rounds after us and so they were rather rushy with our food.

We went to the Soup outlet at City Square Mall and this place did not provide any dessert. Therefore, when we passed by Swenson's, we decided to go in to have some...ice cream! I was really delighted to see those old fashioned shell lamps being used, again. It brings back lots of memories when I was brought to the Swenson's at Plaza Singapura.

This year's CNY would be very different without a car. Already, I feel very tired thinking about all that walking and taking of public transport tomorrow.

Anyway, will not think so much now. I'll go watch the countdown variety shows and wrap red packets now!

Family day

Brought Dad and Mum to 313@Somerset and Ion@Orchard today. They were needed to go see these new places and I was getting mouldy from staying at home.

It was a nice, warm, fuzzy feeling, the three of us. It was like a treat for a small child as I have not gone out with both my parents together for a long time now. We ate at Food Republic, shopped at HMV and Dad even bought a t-shirt from Uniqlo!! He was so proud that it was his third shirt from Uniqlo. The first two were bought in Hong Kong quite some time back. I asked him what's the point of telling me all this and what is there to boast about. His reply was that it showed that he was still very young and trendy. Indeed!

Dad had a fun time at Ion too as there were so many different food stalls at the food hall. That is the only thing that really attracts him. Anything else would be too expensive; a luxury that he can do without. Just my Dad. :)

I also brought him to see Prologue, the up-market version of Popular Bookstore. He also received free red packets compliments of Dunkin' Donuts!

After a long afternoon, we decided to get take-away for dinner. I found a Vietnamese stall that sells my Vietnamese sandwich, but it is still not as nice as Baguette, which was at Raffles City but closed down.

It was yet another happy Sunday but then, it will soon be Monday and will be back to work day. Sigh...Why can't we have 3 days of weekend?

Out of the house

I almost did not get out of the house today. I was almost going to turn mouldy in an empty house. Dad and Mum had gone to Bukit Merah Library where Dad was going to give his final series of talks. He is just so amazing, but that is another story which I might blog about later.

I was contemplating whether to go to City Square Mall to cut my hair. The last time I was there, I was given a pamphlet by this hair salon and it kinda looked good. There was a free shuttle from the town centre so that was not really a problem. The real problem was walking from home to town centre, especially now that I do not own a car anymore.

I finally made it out of the house but I was in-between times: the previous free shuttle bus had left and the next one will only come in about 15 minutes. Decided to walk to Old Chang Kee to get some munchies. After all, it is going to be 3pm and I haven't had my lunch.

Going up the shuttle was already a long queue (and I almost could not make it) and then when I reached the mall, there was another beeline for the ATM. Lunch became tunch and it was quite late when I decided to go check out the price from Creme hairdressing. I had wanted to cut and do treatment.

There was no usual frustration as I slowly explained what I wanted (even though I did not really know what I want except that I had wanted bangs). I was also very assertive as to what I wanted and did not want. She was trying to push for me to do another scalp treatment and I told her (more than once) that I would just try out the present one that she has on offer before trying the other treatment next time.

All in all, I am very satisfied with the cut and treatment today. It is almost like Reds, my previous, previous hair salon but more expensive than the one at Toa Payoh Lorong one. This one might be it for me.

Oh yes, forgot to mention that while I was having lunch on the fourth floor food court, I had a nice and full view of the the Thaipusam parade. There was also the Haiti Relief Fund-raising and I did my part but did not stay back to see the performances though. I saw Babe Conde trying out the piano but felt that it would be too late for me if I stayed back to wait for the concert to start at 8pm.

Did I just "all in all"? Well that was for the hairy issues. In general though, I enjoyed my day and am glad to have made it out of the house :)

Views about life and relationships

It has been a crazy week, or even months, but I think God is helping me along, edging me on with every waking hour.

Other than going for my belly dancing and ceramic classes, I hooked up with my University friend on Facebook and we caught on over the phone. She too is now divorced but has just gotten married again because she got pregnant. She told of a long story of betrayed love. long court cases (still fighting at the moment) and the fact that she had little faith in love or marriage (even though she is in one now).

While I am happy for her that she is married and pregnant with child, I cannot help but feel that God was sending me a message: that I should really wait out and be patient with finding Mr. so-called Right. OK, I know, I am beginning to sound like Sumiko Tan from Straights Times, always lamenting about how she cannot find a decent boyfriend. No, I do not like her columns and no, I do not want to lament. I think I have come to a stage that I can say that I am comfortable with who I am at the moment and what I am doing in my life. There is no guarantee that I will not want to find someone special to keep me company somewhere down the road, but at least now, I am not worried or in such a hurry to find myself a partner.

Not sure if I have mentioned this before, but I am at the stage of self-discovery and at my age, learning to really live as a whole person. Sometimes, it is not easy,having to cope with parents, colleagues and so on, but every step is a learning process.

I am learning to truly live in, and learn from these learning processes and enjoying it every moment. If there were bad moments, I now have mum to fall back on, where previously we were not able to really talk to each other, she advises me on how to handle everyday human relations. We do not always see eye to eye but I feel real close to her just by having these heart-to-heart talks.

Tiring

Woah!! Didn't know that shifting house is such a mental stress as well. One would have thought that you just need to move from one house to another, right? Wrong!

There are other things you need to look out for, like how your cable doesn't seem to connect, the cable network outlet is not at the position that you would like it to be, etc, etc.

I also got to see the stressful side of my parents and how not ready they were to cope with it. They were literally shouting their heads off each other and what was worse was that when I tried to ask them to calm down, they turned to me to vent their 'anger' on me. I got double dosage.

If I DID tell them that I am being shouted at and am getting double dosage, I would have the bear all the accusations about me not being able to stay calm etc, etc. In the end, I chose to be quiet. I chose to go out of the house. I hate conflicts and I hate being 'maligned' like that.

In the end, I went out to get more scrapbooking stuff! Oh yes, Wildswans taught me some stuff that I found really exciting to try and useful too!

The time is NOW!

Woah! In a few hours' time, I would no longer be staying in a condominium, but I am very excited. As I will be having a bigger space to myself and closer to my friends. Not only that, I think I will be able to get home faster and save on transport.

I feel excited but at the same time sad, but most of all anticipative of my new life and yet another new chapter. I think it is going to be OK. Being 'alone' would be OK. Glad that I am not exactly alone still as there are my Dad and Mum.

Mum has been the most hardworking throughout this whole shift. She started planning from the word go and without her, we would not have been able to pack everything on time.

Till then, I hope I get the computer up and running so that I will be able to update some more. Ta Ta!

p/s: I am rearing to get back to my scrapbooking routine. Guess it would be a little interrupted till Wednesday, when I meet Wildswans.

How I spent V day.

Sent Dad to the airport and had a nice scrumptious meal of stewed meat with rice a la Taiwan (i.e pork with quite a bit of fats. Sinful, I know, but I have to eat chicken five days a week so weekends are my let-go days).

Went to Popular Bookshop after that and spent about $100 buying all sorts of nonsense, including a Dymo Label Maker. I have already looked at that stuff for the umpteenth time. Why? I was influenced by the kids who label their water bottles and everything else with it. The 'last straw' came when one of them had ironed on their name onto their bed sheets. That's when I decided to do some sleuth work and find out whether the label marker I had been eyeing does the job. It does!! Now, I have become a label freak. I labelled my files, my pens, my drawers, my almost everything!! It's my newest stress reliever 'toy'.

Other than labelling, I also did lots of filing of my lecture notes. I am beginning to think that I am a categorisation freak. Well, this probably stemmed from my previous job where everything had to be categorised and colour coded too! It's funny how I learn to become neat once again after living for so many years. Hee!

In the evening, I went to the supermarket. I spent two hours there, combing through the aisles and discovering new products and reminiscing the old. Once again, I stopped by at the Ziploc bags for a little too long. I already have three different sizes at home and had to stop myself from buying more. Excuse to self: save the earth. This Ziploc thing is another obsession to put items of similar usage together, i.e categorisation yet again. :P

Through the kids, I have learned to eat healthily and to watch what I am eating and bought lots of stuff that I have stopped buying a long time ago. Things like cornflakes (that were high in calcium), milk that was rich in omega 3 and 6, and so on.

Still later in the evening, I was watching TV when my friend messaged me to watch "My big fat fabulous wedding" on MTV channel. She told me that the girl who was getting married looked 90% like me! Hahaha!!! YES! I got a shock when I changed to that channel for she really did look like me but she was many, many times richer for her wedding cost $2 million!!!!!! She was a Japanese and mum said she was fatter than me. It was her way of complimenting that I have slimmed down. Haha!

The girl that looks like me!

All in all, it was a peaceful day well spent mostly at home. I am recharged and looking forward to the week ahead. Gotta prepare myself now as my little ones have got ten thousand and one "why's" to ask me, so much so that I feel like I am perpetually taking exams. Hahahaha!