Nosey business

I have been having a bad case of post nasal drip cum infection for the last week or so. My left nose had been semi-permanently blocked. I have been roughing it out as I know that if I went to the Doc's, he would simply prescribe me with the same old antibiotics that would cure me for a while but then, I will be back to square one in no time.

Instead, I chose to queue up for an appointment to see the Chinese doctor (Traditional Chinese Medicine or TCM in short) instead. I really believe that it is time my immune system faced up to its challenge to fight all those infections. The price for all these ra-ra talk and thoughts? Whopping cough ever so often throughout the day. I am coughing so bad that my stomach hurts and I have to remember to remind myself to squeeze my kegel muscles so that I would not be peeing like a helpless baby. I sometimes have to rush to the toilet as my lung, nose, ears whatsoever are so filled with mucus that I had to throw it all up.

Sorry, grotesque I know but I somehow I feel that writing about it will make me heal faster. Haha!

How do I avoid embarrassment in public? I use the story book that I am reading to block my whole face while I coughed away. I know, I should use a mask. Now, where did I put it...?

Wish me luck, my appointment with the TCM doc is tomorrow evening. With much luck, I would heal soon and 'tune' my body till it's able to withstand all sorts.

Very Korean

Crying is no good for the eyes. They felt like goldfish's eyeballs today, but I managed the day though. Had a refreshing albeit sunburn-ish kind of walk to Singpost Centre during lunch break. It is amazing what walking can do for the mind, except that I wished that it wasn't so hot.

Had Korean food for lunch today. It was BBQ pork set. Then coincidentally in the evening, Mum bought me Korean grilled saba fish set. Because I was rushing to see the Chinese doc, who is ever so busy and popular, Mum had bought me take-away (how sweet!). The very coincidental part was that she took out the set of environmental-friendly chopsticks and spoon set that I bought from Lotte World in Korea. Suddenly, I felt very Korean and I was half giggling to myself as I ate dinner at the Pek Kio Hawker Centre, which was sparsely populated with the dinner crowd thinning out already.

The wait at the Chinese doc's was not so bad and Mum and I went home on one of those rare occasions that she would accompany me out. Bliss! Kept giving her secret smiles and she pretended to glare back at me. Hee!

First day back at work

Hmm...it was not exactly a smooth start to the day on my first day back at work. The gossip mongers were trying to see how many pox and scars I had, probably so that they could discuss about the 'seriousness' of it later, out of my ear shot.

Luckily I had purposely left some scars for them to see. I also had to explain that most of the pox came out on my back and my scalp, not so much on my body. You could almost see their I-want-to-believe-you face.

Plus, there was that contradictory discussion I had with my working partner as to whether or not to take medicine to stop the growth of the pox. As said in earlier postings, I actually do not advocate suppressing or even stopping the pox (through immunisation).

However, when one is sick and does not know what else to do, and when the doctor tells you that there may sometimes be complications like meningitis and/or pneumonia, and that the pox can even grow on your eyes, one better take the doc's advice and take pills or whatever.

I called it a contradictory discussion because I heard from another colleague that she (my working partner) was not too happy when she realised that I went on medical leave. Instead, today, she was advising me that I should have let all the pox out and just kept drinking cooling stuff for the system and not taken the anti-viral pills. Now, as I am typing this, I am just also wondering whether there was a pinch of sarcasm in what she said. Yes, I know. I am a little slow like that. Make that very slow, which is why I think I may never survive the corporate world. Ha!

I mean, it is one thing to give good advice, but it kind of shows your 'sincerity' as well when you jolly well know that if I let it all come out, that I will take at least 2 weeks of medical leave. Is that what she really wanted?? I doubt.

Anyhow, I gave it my all during the day, doing what I had to do as a team member. I think most times, I am doing the shit work. That said though, I am enjoying doing it because I love it and I have not much complaints about it.

Last but not least, I just want to say that NOBODY WANTS TO FALL SICK and when one is sick, one may sometimes not be able to make or receive phone calls. This is something strong and healthy people may never understand. Or maybe their time to fall very sick has not come yet. when it comes, they may fare worse than me.

Need to cool that seething madness

I was seething mad. In fact, in a way, I am still seething. Spurts of smoke (imaginary, of course) can still be seen spurting out of my ears occasionally.

I called up my boss to inform her about my extension of medical leave and guess what she told me? She said that if I did not have the word "Chicken pox" on my medical certificate (MC), then only one day of official MC will be counted.

I was so stunned at that point of time, I did not know what say. Not only was she insinuating that I was lying to her, but she was also (directly or indirectly) insulting and questioning the integrity of the doctor.

As I put down the phone, the fact of the matter slowly sank in. I almost wanted to immediately blog it down but I thought I would cool down first. But I can't cool down. I do not care whether it was HR's policies or what but it was really RUDE!

The funny thing was that just a day before, one other colleague had gotten an MC for 2 days. She looked fine the day before but because she went to the polyclinic, she got the official 2 days. On the third day that she was supposed to come back to work, she had already earlier applied for leave to shift house. I am not going to say anything here but I would let you, my readers, be a little bit of Sherlock Holmes and go figure out why I am so mad.

Therefore, is it right to say that if I go and waste my time, wait at the polyclinic, then I will get my official MC for sure?? Or is it that all private doctors are quacks??? Because that is the message that she is sending me. RIDICULOUS!!

Plus the fact is, I DO have chicken pox!!! I have scars to prove it, even though it is not many simply because I was given the anti-viral pills to stop the spreading. You know, just because of some minorities who abuse the system, we people, who do not want to fall sick at all are always the victim. Maybe we are too obedient. If we talked back, then maybe, there would be some sort of reaction. Then again, we are in a very Asian society and I find that most companies and organisations work in very Asian mindsets. Talking back is a big no-no. It is almost like death sentence.

I mean who likes to pay money to the doctor every month??? Who likes to wait there for hours just to see the doctor??? Seriously, sometimes I wish Asian bosses were more empathising towards their employees, but I think that would take us 10 decades to reach that level of empathy. There is no magic; changing cultures take that long, if they ever succeed, that is.

Anyway, I went to the doc's and it showed on his face that he felt that this was all a joke too. He commented, "An MC is an MC" and smiled. The doc's word IS the law in the medical world. Well, in normal everyday life, GP terms, at least.

Pox!

I cannot believe it! I caught the chicken pox!!!! There were 5 rounds of it at my work place and I thought I would be safe from it but in the end, I still got it!!! It started on Monday afternoon. There were all that flu-like symptoms of backache and post-nasal drip and so I thought I was coming down with flu.

I went home, ate my dinner and was bathing when I felt the shivers. My feet were very cold and I wished that I could stay in the shower forever. I was too cold. I stayed as long as I could in the shower as I could and braced myself for when I needed to get myself out and put on clothes. It was the coldest few seconds in my entire life.

Huddling myself in my towel, I grabbed a pair of socks, opened the window threw the towel back onto the rack and went straight to bed without even turning on the air-conditioning. Oh, of course, I ate Zyrtec before going to bed.

Next morning, I almost could not get out of the bed and out of the house. Took a cab to work. Too painful to walk. Mum had asked me why I did not want to go and see the doc and take M.C. Told her I could not as I was doing the closing shift. Don't want to mess up everybody's schedule.

Come afternoon, my temperature was 37.5 degrees. Asked my colleague for panadol and popped 2. At the same time, my other colleague spotted spots on my face and immediately asked if they were chicken pox. There was one obvious pimply spot on my lip and a few others on the sides of my face. That was on my right side.

By four plus, two more spots had appeared on my left chin. Eeeekssss!!! I had wanted to wait till the next day to go and see a doctor, but mum told me to just go as it made no difference. It did make a difference though for I though the spots were not typical enough to be called chicken pox.

We went to the doc's anyway. I was treated as a pox patient and have to stay at home for the next 5 days. I was given some anti-viral medicine as he was afraid that there might be completion when I get it so 'young'. There could be meningitis or even pneumonia. It was not cheap though but it was necessary.

When I went home and took my bath, found one more spot on my right boob. Hahahaha!!! This morning, lots have sprouted on my scalp and I have accidentally scratched on in my half sleep-stupor.

Anyway, I am keeping my fingers crossed that I will not get too many spots and that there will not be any scars. Sigh...there goes my cousin's wedding reception this Sunday.

Cough, cough, cough...

Been coughing non-stop the whole of this weekend, despite the fact that I am already taking Chinese medicine. Before, I would have wanted to cut off my nose. Now, I wish to cut off my nose and dig my lungs out.

I have coughed till I have chest aches and at times, I can barely hold my pee when I cough! It is terrible, but I really have to be a little more patient with Chinese medicine. They just take longer to take effect. Either that or I must have taken something that I am not supposed to. Anyway, I am lifting it all up to Him now as I struggle on to sleep peacefully tonight and have to use my voice tomorrow.

Meanwhile, I will just have to rely on my Nin Jiom throat sweets as supplements to my medicine and my Badger Chest Rub to relieve a little of the coughing (hopefully).

At the hospital...and a few more other places

On 20th March 2010

6.25pm:
Dad meets me at the Outram Park MRT bus stop leading up to Singapore General Hospital.

6.35pm:
We reach Granpa's ward in ICU. Before that the nurse had already called us while we were registering ourselves downstairs. Told us that he was almost going and told us to come down to the hospital now.

6.50pm:
Grandpa leaves this world, after Dad and I spoke to him. He was not able to open his eyes by then but can see and hear his breathing change as Dad and I spoke to him.

It was a long night after that. We waited at the mortuary for an hour at least. For the first time, I see a corpse being transported from hospital room to the mortuary and then into a vehicle.

There was another long wait at the police station where we had to get the real death certificate in order to get my Gramps cremated. It was such a joke (sorry policemen). Three men standing in front of one computer and receiving all sorts of calls and handling all sorts of cases except serving us, the ones sitting right in front of them. There was not even an acknowledgement of our presence. I do not need an apology. A "please hold on" would have been nice for someone (me) who had been up since 5am and working from 7am.

Anyway, by the time Dad, Mum and I reached home, it was already 12 midnight. Tomorrow will be another long day.

Rest in peace Gramps. I will miss you.

My new home

I love my new place. I have a slightly bigger room, a bigger bathroom and I am very near to everything. I am not only living near the town centre (centre ville en Francaise) but I am also at the centre of Singapore (I think).

I have also attempted to decorate my room to look Shabby Chic and it has kinda worked, with the help of IKEA stuff. White country style wooden chair and a very nice and simple lamp. I know, I know, shabby chic is supposed to be old furniture given new lease of life but nobody said that I could not use new stuff. There is no hard and fast rule.

I have also found a shop (or two) at Thomson Plaza that sells country style furniture and nick-nacks. I was very tempted to buy the whole shop worth of things but stopped myself just in time.

My bed, which was especially made ten years ago and has followed me from the old to new place. I used to hate it probably due to its bulkiness in my old room but I am glad that I kept it as it totally suits my decor theme!

That's the chair and lamp from IKEA. That old-looking fan is indeed old! I first used it when I was given my own room, at about 2 or 3 years old!

The water jug and the tissue box cover were bought at two seperate shops but all located at Thomson Plaza. Thomson Plaza also brings back loads of memories as I spent one third of my childhood there. One of my pre-university school days hangout, Burger King, is longer there. Thank goodness, KFC still is.

The painting and the instruments were all bought from Bali. Love them to death!

Anyway, I fell ill a couple of days back and had to find a doctor pronto! I was really lost as this town is really quite new to me. I just based it on my previous observations and went to what I thought was a better reputed clinic chain (starting with P and it is not Parkway). It was stated that it will re-open at 6.30pm and it was only 6.10pm. I decided to wait.

By 6.40pm, there was still no sign of life from inside the clinic and there was a whole group of people waiting to see the doctor. My stomach was not sparing me much and so, depending on my memory again, I decided to cross the road to another clinic that I remembered passing by on my way back from church.

This was a much smaller clinic but I liked it already once I stepped in and I felt that this would be the clinic that I would come to if I had anything wrong (touch wood). The doctor also proofed to be very professional and he listened very carefully to what I had to say.

I am on my road to recovery and it is funny coz he seems to have prescribed similar cough mixture like my previous second choice doctor behind my house (my first is always my GP at Hougang). While previously, I never seem to get well, this time around, it seems to work. Is it the good vibes or is it really the medicine? I really cannot tell.

Whatever it is, I must say that I love this town!

Live and let live

I have been getting lazier and lazier, and no, there is no guy in my life to justify why I should be writing less. In fact, my love life is s empty that I find that as an excuse for the lack of inspiration to write.

There is the H1N1 going on of course and the fact that I have infected throat and ears just made me so immobile that I just slept the day away.

Truth is though, I think all these illnesses have been stress related. I have been thinking of moving on, to another similar work environment, of course. Just cannot take the very stressed out supervisor breathing down my neck every other minute. I am not a person that can be micro-managed in the first place. It was what made me walk out of my old job in the first place.

Of course, I must make some mental adjustments myself in the first place, starting from now. There will be micro-management everywhere and there is no such thing as the perfect fit or the perfect boss.

This makes me think back to the very basic logic of the strong over the weak. I think this strong over the weak issue is happening in our everyday lives, in our every moment: your parents' words against yours; your colleagues instructions over yours; your bosses' decisions over yours; the librarian telling you you have to pay the full price of the lost book even after a write-in appeal; even to the point of the salesgirl insisting the last piece of item was newly displayed and you had no choice but to take THE last piece.

Then again, for that very last example, you have a choice. You have the power of not buying that item, which was what I did. Well, I exaggerate too much by giving these examples, I guess. Perhaps I see things too micro-ly myself. I should learn to let go, live and let live. Somehow though, the majority of people seem to be the suppressed while our bosses are forever the oppressors.

Well, just dark clouds passing. After the rain, all will be fine.

Flu blues and my ignorance

Sigh...I am down with flu. Actually, I am already coming towards the end of my flu. I thought it was the usual nosey business where it gets hypersensitive and I only needed to treat it with Zyrtec. Turns out not.

My doc told me that I caught the Influenza A! Imagine my shock as the Influenza A (H1N1) is going on! Turns out that I was misinformed. Influenza A is a name for the common flu (if I am not wrong, it is the winter flu). It is just that this particular strain, H1N1 is dangerous, for now.

Anyway, I am stuck here at home, wondering whether I should go for classes tonight, since I am covered with MC. Nevertheless, it is just the second lesson of the new module and the teacher is quite interesting. Tough choice, tough choice.

The day thus far

Nothing much happened today except that I went to collect my medical report in-between working hours. Luckily my workplace is small enough to allow for something like that and luckily, I drive.

Anyhow, I am generally OK except that I should cut down on red meats and alcohol (sob). Not that I have been drinking that much recently but looks like if I don't control, my liver may give me issues that I do not like to handle.

There seems to be a lot of things that I want to say and yet, I don't want to say. I guess I am just praying that everything would be over soon so that I can start anew.

Am I looking? Yes, I am looking and no, I am not really looking. No, I don't know how to play the dating game and I really don't know how to go out there and find. Resigned to my fate? Perhaps. Lacking in confidence? Perhaps. I guess I will just leave it at that as I feel that someone somewhere may just feel that I do not have the right to even look yet, given my circumstances. I will let the good Lord help me then :)

Calm amidst frenzy

I would call this another crazy day, except that I think I have overkilled the word "crazy". Anyhow, everything was not going according to plan.

I was supposed to go do my medical check-up today and I fasted since 10pm the night before. It was 8.40am and we were still in the house when I was supposed to have reached the clinic. Not that there were any appointments made but this was precisely the problem. It was on a first come first served basis and getting there late means waiting longer in queue and getting hungrier by the hour.

Dad was supposed to send me there as he needed the car today, but because he woke up late (coz I did not have the heart to wake him up earlier, seeing that he was tired the night before) and both of us ladies of the house occupied the toilets, he ended up being really late.

Just as we were about to go, my mum said something really not so nice. She told me, if I were really in such a hurry, why not go take a taxi? She sounded real challenging and in the end, I really did for I knew if I waited for Dad, there would be more arguments along the way and it would not be good for blood pressure results.

When I reached the clinic, I had to take pee samples right? Well, I had very little pee as I thought fasting meant no water too. I had to drink 5 cups of water before managing to deliver. Well, there was no doubt that I kept looking for toilets for the rest of the day.

Then I had to go to my lawyer's and because I did not manage to get a lift from Dad in the morning, I did not get the cheque that he wrote out for me. I had to withdraw money from an ATM. Guess what? There are no UOB or OCBC atm-s at The Central!!! Usually where they is at least one UOB at the MRT stations, there was none at the Clarke Quay station. I had to walk two traffic lights away to People's Park to get my money. It was torturous considering that I had blisters on my feet and swollen ones at that!

I managed to do it though; draw money and get back to the area near The Central. The papers will be filed tomorrow and I would soon be on my way to freedom. Hopefully everything will turn out fine.

Me, the sick

I am sick at home again. This nose of mine is very irritating. I wish someone would invent some kind of home vacuum for the nose whereby one could stick it up the nostrils (sorry to be so crude) and suck out all that mucus.

They are stuck in my ears and it is irritating as I feel like digging them out but can't. Only nose drips and medication can do the job.

Well, before I say night-night to the rest of the day and rest, I managed to do some research over the Internet on Hong Kong and Shenzhen again. Now I am just wondering whether to get a pre-paid phone card while I am there as we may be meeting up with some friends based there and may need to use the phone quite regularly. Hmm.....party, party!

My new friends now

I used to think that Tiger balm and Axe oil are for old folkies. Never did I imagine myself loving it to the point of addiction one day.

It all started when my GP told me to go buy a bottle of Axe oil to put into some hot water to inhale. It was a cheap an effective way to clear the air passages and blocked sinuses. While I was at the Chinese medical hall, I figured that I might as well get the Tiger balm as well.

Now, I wish I coul take it out as and when to rub it on my nose or chest but I do know that some people are irked by the smell and being the socially conscious me, I won't be doing that any time soon..

The other 'old fashioned' medication was the Nin Jiom. They used to only have it in the thick goowy,liquid format. When it first came out with the herbal candy, I was soooo skeptical about it. I thought it was some 'scam' sweet that they were trying to roll out and cover the different markets. Good marketing strategy but some useless superficial product. Or so I thought.

I was coughing real badly during class on Wednesday and one of my classmates passed me a sweet. The cough stopped completely. It did come back eventually but that is only because my cough is no ordinary cough (read previous posting). To me, it was already VERY effective!!

A visit to the doctor. Finally.

Woah! Never felt so impatient in my life. Usually, when I go to my GP, I would be very patient, knowing that she painstakingly explains to her patients, detail by detail. Maybe it's because I met with boo-boo this morning and so I was rather frustrated at having to wait much longer.

The first patient took a good half an hour before she emerged from the room. The second patient, a man, was already very impatient while waiting. He was pacing back and forth, flipping through magazines without really reading them and fiddling with his handphone, trying to look busy. Maybe HE made me irritated.

He took another half an hour or so. For an impatient man, that was certainly a long time! It was as if he was trying to outdo the previous patient, trying to make sure he gets his money's worth from by stretching his consultation time.

I was cheesed off. I was sick (still am) with my sinuses all blocked up and this intermittent itchy throat that threatens to itch and cough at the most unlikely of times, making me real embarrassed.

Well, by the time got to see the doc, she told me that I have caught the micro plasma virus, the virus that the other doc behind my house was warning me about. He had told me that the kids are having it but he did not diagnose me as a carrier??!

My doc told me if I delayed treatment some more, I might have gotten pneumonia. Scary. Plus, when I told her I was prescribed oral steroids of sorts (not the first time since I have bronchitis and asthma history), she told me that it is less harmful inhale than to have oral steroids.

Personally, I think both are no good but I guess it is a case of 'no choice'. No wonder I have been getting palpitations as the oral steroids gives me that. It was terrible. I was walking uphill and felt like I could not breathe properly and was going to die!! That was the other thing that the other doc behind my house did not tell me. It was not the first time I was taking that particular medicine, but I think it's a doc's duty to repeat every time they prescribe.

I am back on the inhaler and no, it is not Ventolin. It is Symbicort and it is NOT cheap. Burnt a big hole in me pocket.

Anyhow, doc' orders are to stay at home to rest for the rest of the week and if I do not recover by next week (still feeling out of breath) then I have to go back to her again. This time, I better either see the time properly or call first to ask.

Allergy agony

Well, I guess the day has finally come whereby I am allergic to something. I think this is because I have been eating too much medicine.

Had an ENT (ear, nose, throat) infection again and the doctor behind my house, gave me the same old medicine of enhancine. It is an antibiotic and I have taken it before. Previously, there would be tell-tale sign of red patches, which I suspected to be rashes but brushed it off, as my then supervisor told me that if there was an allergy to medicine, it is usually an outbreak.

I mean, the medicine label itself did say to stop if rashes appear. Two nights ago, I developed rashes on my cleavage! Of all places!!! It is one of the most uncomfortable places and one of the places that I DO NOT want any rashes. I want to show it off. Not hide it! Plus, it being a squashed up area does not help as it aggravates the situation (no ventilation = more itchiness = more scratches..and the cycle begins again).

Then I found that both my upper arms started to show tell-tale signs too. Last night was sleeping hell as I attempted not to think of the itch and not to scratch it. It was futile. I had to go back to my good old GP who gave me medication to stop all that itch and the rash.

She did warn me that one of them was drowsy medicine. Alas! I underestimated the power of the medicine for I was like a total zombie for the whole of today.

How did I spend my off day?

I spent my off day visiting my different doctors. First, I went to my dentist who must have silently died when I opened my mouth. It has been eons since I last went for cleaning and polishing and there was so much tartar (or is it called plaque)on my teeth. Now I have to make much more effort to go more often. If not, it will burn a big whole in my pocket.

The cleaning itself was $120!!!! Then I thought strawberry flavoured fluoride was real good but that little bit cost me $25!!!!!! Woah! Like going to a hair salon. If you put the conditioner to retain your hair colour after dying it, that would cost you $25 too. Gosh!

After lunch, it was to my GP's. Got to show her my medical check-up results and to tell her that I have resigned (sort of). Good thing was that she was going to help me hook up with people from Pathlight so that I can start volunteering there. Her sis in-law is the vice principal there I think. I am hoping something will come out of this.

You see, my plan was to get the Early Childhood Education certification first, gain some experience in mainstream education, before moving on to Pathlight, but her idea is for me to work on it at the same time. She feels that I should get them to sponsor my education too! Hahaha! Not bad!

There was no shopping at all. The only form of shopping was to the car shop. Had to get the windscreen tinted (that's another story) and therefore went to ask about the price. Hmmmm....the mechanic there was quite neat and cool looking. I would even dare say that he is...cute.

Anyway, just eye candy. Dad took the car for tinting after I came back from doc's. No chance of seeing cute guy again...unless I find some other things to do with my car...hmm...Hahahaha!!!!